A successful adult man is going places in life – personally and professionally. A successful adult woman stays home to mother her husband – as nature intended. This, in a nutshell, is the paraphrased secret to healthy relationships of a lovely man I recently encountered who earnestly believes that God’s intended place for the woman is barefoot and in the kitchen.
I find this view so preposterous, it isn’t even necessary to provide a counter argument. What I shall do is remind us all of some of the highly influential women shaping society today. The world has been ruled by men for thousands of years and it hasn’t always done so great. I leave it to you to decide whether the following women should rather stay home to cook and clean or whether they should continue to work their magic in their particular spheres.
Sonia Gandhi is the President of the Indian National Congress and leader of the United Progressive Alliance. A Roman Catholic, Gandhi is tremendously popular amongst the people of India and exerts a tremendous amount of political power in the world’s largest democracy.
Michelle Bachelet is a qualified medical doctor and President of Chile. She is credited with promoting free trade agreements and effectively revolutionizing trade in the Latin American world. Her administration has improved women’s equality and Chile’s political and economic climate.
Yoani Sanchez defies the oppressive Cuban regime by covertly blogging on her personal observations about the struggles of the people of Cuba. She publishes from internet cafes to avoid detection and prosecution by the Cuban authorities. She won the Ortega and Gasset Journalism Award in Spain.
Mary McAleese is currently the longest-serving woman president in the world. She has worked to improve relations between Catholics and Protestants in the once-war-torn Ireland. Under her rule, Ireland now has the second highest income per capita in the European Union.
Aung San Suu Kyi is the world’s only Nobel Peace Prize winner (awarded to her in 1991) currently imprisoned. She is the leader of the National League for Democracy in Burma. As Mohandas Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr before her, Suu Kyi believes in leading through non-violent resistance. Suu Kyi was elected Prime Minister of Burma in 1990.The military leadership refused to acknowledge the election. She remains under house arrest today.
Through her work in the “Race for the Cure” and the Susan G. Komen Foundation (named for her sister who died of breast cancer), Nancy Brinker has dramatically improved the outlook for breast cancer patients today. Recognised for her amazing abilities in running a successful charity organization, she was appointed Chief of Protocol of the United States in 2007 She is closely involved in dictating diplomatic procedure.
Lisa Randal studies particle physics and cosmology as the first women ever appointed in the physics departments of Princeton, MIT, and Harvard. In 2004 she was recognised for being the most cited theoretical physicist of the preceding five years.
The only woman currently serving in the US Supreme Court is Justice Ruth Ginsburg. During her confirmation hearings, her refusal to answer questions regarding her personal opinions on issues such as abortion, civil rights, separation of church and state and gun control, became known as the “Ginsburg Precedent”. The concept behind the precedent is that a Supreme Court Justice should be impartial and rule according to the stipulations of the law and the Constitution, not their personal opinions. Two other judges sat before the same committee for their own confirmation hearings years later. They each cited the Ginsburg Precedent as justification for not answering similar questions.
Fortune magazine ranked Maria Ramos as one of the most powerful women in international business for four consecutive years (2004–07) and one of its top ten female global leaders for 2009. As CEO of Transnet, South Africa’s largest transport company, Ramos transformed South Africa’s economy by reorganizing Transnet from an inefficient and indebted company to a profit earning establishment.
Mamphela Ramphele is a South African academic, businesswoman and medical doctor. She is a current trustee on the board of the Rockefeller Foundation in New York. Ramphele is the first South African to serve as a Managing Director of the World Bank.
Dr Susan Vosloo saves the lives of paediatric cardiac patients by performing highly complicated operations. She became the first female cardiothoracic surgeon in South Africa in a field dominated by oppressive male forces.
Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf of Liberia waited tables to pay for three college degrees, including her Master's at Harvard University. She was imprisoned twice for speaking out against Liberia’s ruling military regime. In 2006 she became Africa’s first elected female president.
Queen Rania of Jordan, the world’s youngest living queen, actively campaigns to improve education and women’s rights in the Middle East.
My advice for the archaic male: get with the times, and pick up your game. Support the successful women around you. Be proud of them. They are the ones who will change the world for the better.
References:
1. The Top 20 Influential Women in the World Today – The Feminist eZine.url
2. Maria Ramos – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.url
3. Mamphela Ramphele Biography form Answers.com.url
4. Women Changing the World – Oprah.com.url
Dear Young Doctor
ReplyDeleteSince recently discovering your most insightful and skillfully written blog, I find my mind spinning with thoughts on the content. I have wanted to comment on all your postings, but found it a daunting task- as the subject matter and therefore problems- so eloquently eluded to by you, is so complex.
You are clearly a very insightful observationist, with an acute sense of morality,ethics and highly developed personal sense of responsibility and commitment. With that, it is also clear that you have great passion-an exceptional understanding of things -the kind of person gifted with rare talents, who could really make a difference in this sometimes awfully sad world.
All I can offer right now, is that you should not lose focus. Of course you have to keep on being who you clearly are and that won't be easy, but I simply can not see any other way for you. I'm not quite sure of the exact wording, but I'm sure you are aware of the quote that 'to whom much was given, much will be required of'- or something to that effect. Similarly as important is the fact that you have to care for yourself so that you can continue to do what you do, but also because you should continue to have the rich inner quality of life which you display through your postings - also through the more humorous ones!
Dr Guinevere!
ReplyDeleteMen rule the world,and that is just how it always was, and always will be! haha!
I do agree, and applaud all the brave woman who contributed so much to our society, and they will always be remembered for their magnificent ground-breaking work, but I firmly believe that behind every successfull woman, is a very supportive man, thus no man is no successfull woman, and vice versa!
Keep on blogging! I love commenting on your blogs!
Have a great day!
Dr JJ
ReplyDeleteThanx for your comment. I'd certainly like to engage in a thorough banter with you and I suspect there'll be a number of girls who'd like to join me.
I'm afraid that behind most successful women are men who's male egos feel the worse for wear. Just consider the example of a number of Oscar winning ladies who's husbands hit the high road as soon as their wifes' careers were more successful than their own: Reese Witherspoon, Hilary Swank, Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet.
For now, let me leave you with this topical little saying,'Behind every great woman is a man checking out her butt.'
Has any of you found that men find female doctors intimidating?
ReplyDeleteI have a much better success rate in securing a date when I pretend to be a nurse instead of telling the truth.
I have asked my close male friends if this observation is correct. They agreed. They would prefer to date a nurse as oppose to a doctor.
Why is that so?
Dear Anonymous
ReplyDeleteMen most certainly find female doctors intimidating. I've seen that so often. What a shocking reflection on our modern society! This truth interestingly stands for non-medical males as well as male doctors.
While I was still a student, I'd be asked what I was studying and on replying 'medicine' the assumption would always be,'Oh, so you're going to be a nurse.' I'd then have to say, 'No I'm doing medicine, I'm gonna be a doctor.' This would never ever happen to a guy.
I was recently out with a guy who is a doctor. Introducing myself to his friends naturally lead to being asked my profession. When I said I'm a doctor too, we got the strangest looks. Some just said, 'O-o-oh reeally.' Others were pure sympathy towards the guy as if saying, 'Dear oh dear, you'll have your hands full with that one. She won't be a real partner to you.'
Non-medical people always ask their doctor-friends medical questions about their own or a family members health. Interestingly, even though this guy's friends now knew that I was a doctor too, all their medical quetions were directed only at him. What do you make of that?
Dr Guinevere, I see you will be a formidable and entertaining sparring partner for dear Dr JJ and the like! Dr JJ's comments are well noted, eloquent and gracious. Does one however detect the slightest hint of a very well disguised condescending view on a woman's place-with respect?
ReplyDeleteMy view point differs slightly. I tend to conquer with your response that unfortunately some men do battle with their egos when their partners are exceptionally successful. Of course there are exceptions. There are true male heroes out there who understand true equality and happily encourage their partners and daughters to follow their true ambitions, while doing the same. On average though, I think it sounds good to eg have a doctor as a partner, until it starts interfering with the Induna's ideas of/for his ideal life. Invariably the woman's plans for her life, are put on the back burner.
Dr JJ, would it not be wonderful if successful women, just as successful men, could also have the whole-hearted support of well-developed, healthy-ego male partners -as a normal, natural part of life? It is a sad fact of life that many successful women do it all on their own and therefore have to struggle through life's many obstacles without any practical or emotional support and yet have to compete and deliver equally. They may then be congratulated for their contribution by kind gentlemen, but it is a fact that men rule the world. I suspect that if one's claim to fame is, ruling the world, you're probably in trouble-if we think of some of the notorious, dubious, weak or down right evil historic and recent rulers of the world. Despite the above and several physiological draw-backs, of which I do not have to remind you as doctors, these women give their all in the pursuit of their dreams and as part of their God-given talents. Would it not be a wonderful world if we could quit trying to be chief and really all support each other. The ' head of the household' idea is so antiquated. We do not need that to be a healthy, vibrant, contributing, morally and religiously sound society.
I think we need many strong and supportive, open-minded equals! Dr JJ, I strongly suspect you have all the makings of a truly revolutionary male. Please explore this and take note of the many 'unsupported' strong currently successful, great women in the man's world. Give a thought to the truly hard, courageous and often lonely struggle they have. All because they too, were given exceptional talents and intellects by God and feel compelled to pursue the fulfilment there-of.
What a poignant and chancy post, dear Anonymous. I would be interested in reading Dr JJ's response.
ReplyDeleteFrom my side, I'd like to compliment you on so eloquently expressing the base reason for women taken on the 'man's world'. I refer to your final sentence: '...they too were given exceptional talents and intellects by God and feel compelled to pursue the fulfilment there-of'. I just love what you are saying here. We as women were not only dealt the talents of cooking, needlework, and a mothering instinct. God gave some of us a fantastic sense of musicality; others were given dexterous fingers and artistic minds; some can do complicated arithmetic in their minds; others can deliver awe-inspiring speeches and inspire nations to follow them in the fight for freedom. These talents are specific to a person and not a gender.
God quite directly instructs us to use our talents, to develop them and multiply them. He even warns that if we don't, those talents will be taken away from us. He certainly does not say that men will be given talents and women are to stay home and support the man in fulfilling his calling. We are each responsible for our own lives and for making our own way to heaven.
Most parents in these modern times encourage their daughters to work hard at school; to achieve their full potential; to develop all facets of themselves. Mine certainly did. Any good parent would obviously encourage and support their sons and daughters in the same way. If a girl grows up achieving at school and being encouraged to do so, she would rather naturally go on to study in the same manner at university. When she enters the work place thereafter, she would be the same high achiever that she has been all her life and she would not see anything strange in practicing a demanding profession, would she?
For me, feminism does not mean that women should become tough, boxing glove-wearing males with boobs. Women needn't mould themselves into males to work in a male world and perform jobs previously reserved for men. Women have enough talents to perform the job on individual merit. Then we of course have a couple of extra assets which may just compliment the work achieved - the ability to multi-task, the ability to read expressions and feelings better than men, the so-called 'female sixth sense'.
I hereby adress all the successfull and independant woman, like Dr Guinevere out there!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the idea of being in a solid relationship with an independant successful woman! I am absolutely not put-down by successfull woman!-bring it on! I am actually quite comfortable of the idea of being a stay at home dad-dig it!haha!
I do have the desire to have my own family though, and children, and usually one of the parents would have to stay at home then, and actually raise them-i am not comfortable with the idea of having strangers raising my children!!!
so...what is the solution then? Dr JJ
Firstly, I have the greatest respect for stay-at-home parents. I think being a present parent is the hardest job in the world. A great amount of time and responsibility should be invested in raising a child. A stay-at-home parent’s job is never done. I think it is one of the most time-consuming and tiring jobs in the world. Running a household and taking care of even one child certainly does not afford one the time to get your nails done all day long. Funny how guys never realise this until they spend a day baby-sitting! Then they are very happy to return to their suit-and-tie jobs.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, very few kids have the luxury of having either of their parents home all day. And quite honestly, I think most kids would prefer to have a little space, especially as they reach their teenage years. Many hours are occupied by school and extra-murals. It is the quality of the time one spends with your kids that has the most impact in any case, not the quantity. Most busy people will tell you that the more things one has to do the more one manages to do.
Women who lead full and interesting lives, who are independent and successful and have careers outside the home generally seek equally smart and successful men who may be stimulating partners to them. The idea is not for the man to take a back seat to his successful partner but rather to be a companion of equal standing; to be a proud, strong man. Marriage is all about companionship and compatibility, not so? If one’s aim, however, is to save on nanny, housekeeper and PA costs by just marrying the poor woman, your after-dinner conversation will suffer accordingly.
Dear Doctor Guinevere!
ReplyDeleteI really love what you are saying in your abovementioned reply to my previous comment!
I think partnership is definately the way to raise children-well, that was actually the way I grew up,more or less.
Have a great day,and keep blogging! I love your blogs!