I will survive!

What makes a person survive stressful life events? Over the last, say two months, I have collected a crippling burden of stressful events. I share these with you not to invite pity but to illustrate humanity's caring nature and the endurance of man's will to survive. My life crises come nothing close to what we know many individuals to be faced with in war and famine and natural disaster situations. I don't claim that my lot is at all comparable, only to recognise that each person's little problem is huge to them, as it affects their daily life and future plans.

So, within the past two months I have endured the death of a close family member; the break-up of a romantic relationship; I moved towns and provinces meaning that I've had to make new friends and get to know new colleagues; moved to a new job with much more responsibility and strenuous working hours; become a student again and faced majorc career choice questions; survived a financial crisis; faced possible eviction; had a tumultuous emotion-laden Christmas and holiday season including unpleasant in-law encounters and a major change in social life and circumstances.

The Life Event Stress Scale ranks a number of stressful life events according to their likelihood of leading to stress-related illness. I tipped the scales well over the 350 mark with my recent collection of stressors. So I am well warned of having a 'high susceptibility to stress-related illness'. (You'd be glad to know I'm taking my vitamin Cs religiously.) I have included a link to the above mentioned scale at the end of this blog.

The question is thus, how do we carry on when our dreams are shattered, when our foundations are crumbling underneath us, when there seems to be no hope left in the world? Drink and drugs are always an option. Make of this what you will. Life has to go on and even though we cannot face doing much other than sticking our heads in the sand and pray for time to mend our worlds, responsibilities can be shirked only for as long as our colleagues and friends will pick up the slack. Even before we can imagine doing so, life forces us to start anew and just get on with it. I'm still waiting to catch up with my life that has seemingly continued around me, without me.

The point I want to get to is that there was love and hope to be found in the most unexpected places when I most needed it. Let me illustrate: not knowing a single soul in a new town especially during a time when I needed my friends and family around me was extremely daunting. I felt very much alone, left out in the cold to wither and wilt in my own hopeless, lightless hole of self-pity. The first ray of light strove to break through when I discovered a beautiful arrangement of wild flowers from my garden on my kitchen counter. My new maid, whom I'd met only once or twice had heard about the passing of my loved one and did something truelly thoughtful and kind for me. It touched my my heart deeply. The second blessing came in the form of a plate full of delicious, steaming, home-cooked food delivered to my front door by darling neighbours. Their timing was just right. I had nothing appetising in the fridge, it had been an especially long day at work and I was seriously considering having Kellogg's for supper. Theyd didn't know me but for having shared a coffee over the fence; I was hardly going to have a heart-to-heart with my brand new neighbours but they showed such care and support in a very practical way, it brought me to tears. I felt more part of my new community than living there for ten years would have done.

Then there is the ex-landlady left behind in Cape Town two years ago who shows me pure, unselfish support. She regularly phoned or emailed me over the past few weeks just to pray for me or share a few words of strength and guidance. When I was too overcome with grief to answer much in return, she understood and never allowed her support and kindness to wane. Her messages always arrive at the most applicable moments - when I'm on call at work and in need of divine strength or home alone and needing a pick-me-upper. I cannot neglect to mention my family, especially my mom and aunt, who despite having to face their own tremendous sorrow, have carried me through the very bleakest of moments, completely neglecting their own well-being in order to see to mine. There is no greater love than that.

Even though the road is wrought with pot holes and all sorts of miserable, nasty things, there remains a beautiful side to human nature. Love and kindness are alive in this world. Thank you to my angels for showing that you care.