I was recently introduced to the term NAFI by one of my friends and fellow bloggers. A NAFI refers to a patient with No Ambition and F-all Interest. Before you log off in disgust at me being so judgemental, let me just explain how the concept manifests in practice.
A mother recently brought her six year old child to me after she’d sustained burn wounds for the second time in her life. On both occasions, she’d been sitting too close to the fire, so much so that her clothes caught alight. The mother elected to bring her to hospital an entire month after the burns had occurred with the result that the wounds were septic. The mom showed no sign of being concerned about the child, worried that the same accident had happened again or at least upset that the girl would have to be admitted to hospital for a number of weeks and receive skin grafts. On my probing, she admitted that the girl likes sitting close to the fire, so she allows her to do just that. The child caught alight twice while under adult supervision!
Compare this to the case of the eight month old left alone on a bed with a bucket of boiling water or that of two four year olds allowed to play with matches. You may think these are isolated cases of child neglect but I promise you, one sees these things on a daily basis. Accidents happen, sure, but the difference here is that these people take disasters in their stride. They either expect nothing better of life, having been dealt a rotten lot before. Or they just don’t have a sense of being worth more; being able to work towards a better life. What shocks me every time is that the parents of these children are relaxed when they bring their kids in. If my child had been in such a horrific accident, I would be in a frenzy of concern. I’d cry with my child. I’d ask the doctor a million questions on whether the wounds would heal; if it’ll leave scars; if there would be permanent sequelae. I would just seek to know whether my child was going to be okay.
A mom brought her two year old to casualties after a near drowning. She was so lackadaisical about the whole event, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Surely anyone would realise that drowning kills. This particular mom was not concerned enough to have answers to my basic questions: when had it occurred; how long was the child underwater; was the child unconscious when she was retrieved from the water?
These parents have as little hope for their children as they have for themselves. Even if they are poor, even if they are uneducated the basic human wish of wanting better for your children than you yourself has had should prevail. Ambition needn’t be big and awesome: we don’t all have to be real estate magnates, talk show hosts or beauty queens. What about just trying to stay alive and stay healthy. HIV prevention campaigns might actually be successful if people expected that they might stay HIV negative even though everyone around them is dying from AIDS and if they believed that they were worth fighting for, even if the only warrior were themselves.
Dear doctor Guinevere.
ReplyDeleteI suspect what it comes down to is hardened harts.Too much troubles, and too little hope can harden anyones heart.It is sad indeed, but unless you experience what they experience you cannot imagine what it must be like, neither can I! Thanks be to God. You can be a beacon of hope to these suffering, hopeless people!
Good luck!
Dear Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. Please write again.
Social circumstances of many South Africans are dire, you are quite right. Money doesn't change mind-sets though, attitudes do. The same hopelessness which I described in the above post permeates our entire society. South Africa's shocking crime statistics are directly related to this base illness. If our people believed themselves worthy of a better life those around them would be seen as worthy too and not be murdered left right and centre.
From my observations in the hospital, I have concluded that the current generation does not have the basic instincts of self-preservation and self-development as part of their make-up. Hope cannot be given to a society in a neatly wrapped package. I believe it needs daily work from within oneself: once you identify an aspect of your life which you are unsatisfied with, you seek a way to improve it. Once even the slightest change for the positive has occured one can start hoping that even further change is possible. The starting point is the belief that your life is worth improvement. And this is where the Holy Spirit will seriously have to help us in this country.
Brilliant post. Its good to see NAFI being used. I stands for "Interest" in the original, but intelligence works just as well.
ReplyDeleteBack to the daily grind morro, see you there
Thanx for reminding me of the correct meaning of NAFI, Sady. It certainly fits my blog much better. I'll change it immediately.
ReplyDelete